Who are you really?

Conversations with friends and loved with this week reminded me just how challenging being truly authentic is for many people. I suppose when I think about it to a certain degree we are “trained” to be someone we may, or may not be.

From the beginning, we are told the difference between what is right and wrong and we are either rewarded, or reprimanded for our actions.

We are shown the difference between “attractive and unattractive”.

We are trained to believe some things are better or worse than others.

We are taught to believe that living a specific lifestyle is the right path.

We are told to be “realistic” with our dreams.

Don’t buy into what I’m saying, think about this:

Working in a corporate office is supposedly better than working at McDonalds

A sunny day is apparently better than a rainy one

Owning a house instead of renting is supposedly advancing in life

Getting married and having kids is better than being single and traveling the world

Being nice means saying yes and people who say no all the time are assholes

A successful person has money, and a poor person doesn’t

Who makes this stuff up??? None of these examples make any sense to me!

It seems that we often choose certain life paths, or aspire to attain things because we are taught to believe that there is a particular recipe for a happy life, but there isn’t…

Here is my truth: I believed going to University was the “right” thing to do. I believed that I couldn’t “just be a server” for my entire life because it was a waste. I believed I should buy a house and a nice car and life would be good. Oh, but I need a pet. So I threw a dog and a cat into the mix, started my career and then I should be happy…

The truth was I was miserable. I loved my career and my pets, but I had zero time. I didn’t want to wait for retirement. I thought why can’t I start really living now? And then I realized I could do whatever I wanted! I dropped the excuses and the belief that everyone else’s opinion mattered and just went for it. Creating the life I wanted took just as much energy and creating a life I didn’t want. Guess what??? You can too.

Here are a few questions to help you start thinking about your authenticity:

  • What would you do if money wasn’t an option?
  • Where in the world would you love to live?
  • Do you really like your friends?
  • What are you really passionate about?
  • What do you love to do in your spare time?
  • Do you love your life?
  • Do you love your partner?
  • Do you do things to only please others?
  • What would you wear if you didn’t care what others thought?
  • What side of yourself do you not show, or rarely show because you fear being judged?
  • What makes you unique?
  • What makes you excited?
  • What do you dislike and love about yourself?
  • What do you do that you really don’t want to?
  • When you wake up, how do you feel?
  • What do you look forward to?
  • What do you dread?
  • What thoughts/ideas do you keep to yourself?
  • What do you dream about?
  • What makes you jealous?
  • What did you want to do when you grew up?
  • What/who frustrates you? Why is this in your life? Why are they in your life?
  • What does a dream life look like? WHY AREN’T YOU LIVING IT!!!!

 You don’t need permission. You don’t even need approval. If you were looking for a sign to make a change, this is it! Harness all of the courage you have and go do whatever you want!


Rob and Jacq

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