10 Exercises to Improve Your Self-Love :
1) Say I LOVE YOU! Every morning when you wake up look at yourself in the mirror and say “I love you”. At first it may be difficult, awkward, and uncomfortable, but this will change in time. Practice this as a part of your morning ritual by piggybacking it to something you already do (after you wash your face, shower, get dressed, eat breakfast etc.)
2) Take the time to get to know yourself. We know what you are thinking, you already do, right? We challenge you to spend time alone, with zero distractions and embrace the silence. While writing “The Letters of Gratitude”, we wrote “When we listen to what presides within, a remarkable voice speaks. The real magic occurs when we listen.” This line has become a mantra for our lives. We challenge you to take this time to hear to your inner voice and follow it. This is a great exercise for trusting your intuition and we can assure you that it will never steer you wrong.
3) Drop justifying! Regardless of what you have done, or are doing stop justifying your actions. Love yourself enough to embrace what you have done as being right for you. Shopping? Sleeping in? Staying up late? Whatever you choose to do, stop explaining your reasons behind your actions. You are accountable to only yourself.
4) Follow your Passions. Take time (we know you are pressed for it) to do something that sparks your soul. We always find that exchanging social media time, playing games, TV time etc. is a useful way to “gain” more time to do what you love. Some of you may not have found your “passion” yet and that’s okay. If you don’t feel really passionate about anything right now, take the time to try something new every week (or day). Eventually, you will end up with a long list of passions.
5) Don’t beat yourself up. Forgive yourself, learn from your mistakes and move on. Guilt not only weighs heavily on our heart, it weighs heavily on our health. For us, writing “Letters of Gratitude” to ourselves, where we focus on the learning experience is the most effective path to forgiveness. For more guidance on how to write a letter of gratitude, CLICK HERE.
6) Be yourself and trust your instincts. This is a challenge for many of us because we tend look to our family, friends and spouses for assurance. How often do you catch yourself saying “what do you think?” We challenge you to drop this question from your vocabulary when it comes to your decisions. This means clothing choices, advice about romantic partners, and all things that are ultimately your decision. Trust yourself and love yourself enough to “follow your gut”.
7) Embrace your individuality. Although it may seem easier to “go with the flow”, we challenge you to break free from the crowd where you see fit. Be yourself, even if it causes a bit of controversy. This act of self-love will inspire your circles to do the same.
8) Embrace saying NO (and yes). Some of us tend to be people pleasers: we agree to things that we don’t really want to do and then dread the commitment; we say no to things that we REALLY want to do, in fear of the judgments to follow; and we act indecisive about things that we really in fact DO have an opinion about. The all around point here, is tell your truth even if it means disappointing other people.
9) Replace the negative chatter with positive thought. We all have those voices inside of our head saying we “look tired”, “frumpy”, “aren’t witty enough” etc. We challenge you to hush them. Every time you hear a negative voice, rephrase it into a positive thought. Don’t believe the new positive thought??? After saying it enough you will either A) believe the affirmation or, B) choose to change the circumstance. Regardless, of your decision try to fill your mind with happiness.
10) Drop the Comparisons and Follow your Dreams. For some of you, it may take a bit to reconnect with what you actually want in life. It is easy to get caught up in the ebb and flow of life exceptions, but we challenge you to look deep within and think about what you really want. Try the following starters if you get stuck:
“If I was retired, I would….”
“If I was rich, I would…”
“If I didn’t have commitments, I would…”
“If I had an abundance of time, I would”
“If I won the lottery, I would…”
“If I had one month to live, I would…”
The truth is the “ifs” don’t stop us at all. Our excuses are just excuse and do not have to dictate our reality. Not everyone will understand that, but it is something that is 100% true for us. We asked ourselves some of these very questions about 2 years ago. Our answer was travel and for every excuse we had in the world, we just went for it (we are still on the road as we write this). We challenge you to reconnect with your dreams and go for it!
Rob and Jacq